at the speed of lightening, I hemmed

A few evenings ago, Ruby left it to me to choose her pajamas at bedtime. Choosing Ruby's clothing is a rare treat, so I of course chose the bright red organic Egyptian combed cotton bottoms and her Earthday in Central Park 2007 tee that I so love to see her in. (As seen above just after our evening walk.)

The next morning she was rummaging through the front closet and pulled out a purple dress from Aunt Jill that I estimated would fit her next summer. She pleaded that it would fit NOW and would I please help her to put it on NOW??!! So at the speed of lightening, I hemmed the back and waist a tad. When I was finished she RIPPED off her organic Egyptian combed cottons and virtually dove into the dress. When it was finally on she sighed deeply and said,

"Oh, Mama. I fell like myself again. I feel beautiful!"

Here is a shot of Ruby in the dress a little later at Riverside park.

Helper Lady rolls eyes

At the beginning of Spring, Ruby and I went to the florist to get some seeds for planting in pots on the windowsill. She b-lined for the sunflower seeds while I called on an employee to help us decide what would grow indoors in pots most successfully. I explained to Ruby that by learning about seeds and choosing the right ones that are known to grow indoors, we would be setting ourselves up for success. Here is the conversation that followed.

Ruby: I want to grow these sunflower seeds, Mama.

Helper Lady: Sweety, those will never come to bloom indoors, they need lots of direct sun and oxygen.

Ruby: Mama, I don't want to set up for success, I want to SEE FOR MYSELF!! I'm gunna plant THESE SUNFLOWER SEEDS AND SEE FOR MYSELF.

(Helper Lady rolls eyes)

...three months later...

Ruby singing to her flowers.

And just for fun, here is a shot of Ruby playing Pediatrician-midwife with my old childhood cabbage patch doll, whose blood pressure, Doctor Ruby reported, is forty-point-three and nine-six-and-a-half-hundred-point-seventy. She did pull through, thank goodness, after a trip to the emergency room.

and NOT quarrel

A very hungry Ruby was waiting for her tuk-pa (Tibetan noodle soup)) singing:

When my noodles are ready it's like the sun will shine.
Come dancing into my mouth!!
And then break in my mouth and go poo-pooing a little later
All of the tiiiiiiiiiiiiime!!!! Noooooooodles!!! I'm ready!!! Come dancing into my moooouuuuuth!!!
RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Oh! Guess what. Ruby is now in possession of a...a...this is not very easy for me to say...a...a Barbie Doll. Here's the story.


Ruby and my mom were taking a walk and ran into the father of a playmate that we have not seen in months. She announced in a most uncensored way that she was not at all interested in seeing her friend.

After parting ways, Ruby informed my mom that this was because "she has Barbies and I don't. I want Barbies but my mama doesn't like them because she thinks they are too skinny.

A few thoughtful minutes later, Ruby said, "Grandma, can we go buy a Barbie doll and...if we TELL mama there won't be a SURPRISE...so should we SURPRISE mama...?? Isn't THAT a good idea??"

Well, good ol' mom let Ruby loose in the playground and when she was not within earshot, called me in a panic, "Lara!! What do I do?!!! She wants a...a...she wants a...Barbie!!!"

So of course I said that she should have a Barbie if that is what she really wants--that we don't have to like the same things--that I never forbade her to acquire an anorexic-yet-voluptuously-perky-breasted piece of plastic made-in-China junk, that I just have a difference of opinion and THAT'S OK.

So within five minutes, Ruby and mom were on their gleeful way to the toy store and within ten minutes Ruby was ripping open her new Barbie princess ballerina (who she dutifully named Tabasco.) And within 11 minutes, Ruby was on the phone with me, delightedly reporting:
Mama!! I have a BARBIE and she has VERY HUGE BREASTS!! And don't worry, Mama. She is really a nice lady. She is so skinny because she shares her food with everybody.

The take-home message here is that you and your child can have very different interests and NOT quarrel about a single thing. Ruby's uniqueness does nothing but make life more interesting.

Reported Ruby: This is kind of difficult when you are a little-bit-three-years-old.

happy and yummy and generous

Ruby drew a picture this rainy afternoon and told me the story behind it:

This guy HERE is trying to SUBTRACT this guy HERE and the OTHER guy is trying to PROTECT THIS guy so he doesn't SUBTRACT the OTHER guy because he might KILL him and then he will feel so BAD about it, but the guy did KILL the other guy because his body was broken and he could not live in his body anymore, but he went to the HOSPITAL and they put his RIB CAGE together again and everything else, so he didn't DIE anymore, but the OTHER guy was so scared so he didn't want to SUBTRACT anybody ever again.

(Photo by Eve Epstein)

Ruby knows that aggressive behavior is not met with desirable reactions (she is never EVER punished or isolated to time out, however we don't pretend to enjoy being mouthed off...) So it seems her deepest darkest sides come out safely in stories of death and destruction--the above mentioned being QUITE mild comparatively--

A quote from earlier today to Grandma over lunch:

Grandma, I am happy because I love my life. My family is happy and yummy and generous.

(Photo by Eve Epstein)

I am so in love with my family. I don't often write about Shadrup, my brightly calm, humorously inquisitive and spectacularly handsome husband. His and Ruby's relationship have taken off in a rocket ship since his early days of insecurity, uneasiness and adjusting to daddy-hood with infant Ruby. He always told me not to worry, that their "connection will ripen" when Ruby turned three. It was like clockwork!! Ruby's Tibetan comprehension is suddenly quite fluent, and more importantly she is proud and quite eager to keep learning. My sister refers to us as a sickeningly harmonious family--If I had a functional camera I'd back her description with a snap shot of Ruby on Shadrup's lap right now feeding each other Momos and engaging in a fluent playful Tibetan dialog. Sorry to blind everyone with my pride!! I just thought Shadrup deserved a little spotlight!! (Photo below taken a year ago)

Pink Nails!

Today Ruby and I exchanged manicures and pedicures with her first bottle of nail polish. Ruby was so thrilled when I let her paint my nails.

Mama, I love you when you wear nail polish.
And when I don't wear nail polish?
Well, then I still love you, but only your face, not your hands and feet.

Little Angel...

Ruby's song-of-the-day:

If you are grouchy, I don' mind!
But if you eat me I'll be dined!!!
And I have love in my veins and arteries coming from my heart and going to my brain,
So I have to keep my body
But if you are grouchy I don't mind!!!A conversation Ruby and I had today, after she whacked a friend over the head with a book and we left the scene and returned home:

Ruby, what you did to your friend today was really...
Hold on, Mama. (Ruby runs into the bedroom and calls out after a brief moment) OK, mama! My head is under the pillow and my fingers are plugging my ears!!! You can keeping talking now if you want to!!!

Family

Mama, I think it would be better if all the families in the world was just one big family. That would be better. Riiiight?
That is a beautiful image, Ruby.
No, I don't mean an image, I mean for REAL.

I really don't care.

Yesterday Shadrup, Ruby and I were walking through Central Park. A horse drawn wagon passed. Ruby stared, pensive and quiet.
Mama, that looks heavy. Do you think the horse is happy?
I don't know. But the horse is definitely not free...The driver tells her when to go, how fast, when to stop, when to eat, what to eat...You know I would never ride in one of those, because I feel too badly for the horse. I don't want to support a business that exploits animals like that.
Oh. Mama?
Yes, lovey?
I really don't care.
You....you don't.... c..c..care?
That the horse is pulling that heavy wagon. Want to go for a ride in the wagon? It looks like fun. Maybe the horse won't mind.
So, no...we didn't go...but she is not forbidden if Shadrup or my parents want to take her!! I can't promote riding in these wagons, but I believe she should make these moral decisions (to ride or not to ride?) on her own--she is a developing critical thinker and I'm not interested in fruitlessly doing her thinking and decision making for her.
Along these lines, watching my own little perfect bundle-of-love offspring munching on cheese pizza and beef momos (remember? Tibetan dumplings) was not easy at first. But the satisfaction of seeing my daughter hungrily eat what she craves surprisingly and strongly overwhelms my lifelong militant dietary views. Do I hope she will come around to my way of thinking? Yes. But pushing my views, as opposed to sharing them, will surely backfire and turn her off..

We're Blogging Again

Hi Everyone! My first year of graduate school is coming to an end and I finally have time to blog about my talented, intelligent, hilarious, gymnast, artist, tricycling, singing, potty-humor loving little Tibetan-Fairy-Princess again.

Where to begin? I guess I'll just dive in and tell you about a conversation we had the other day.

Mama, why are you a vegan?
I'm a vegan because I love animals and don't want them to suffer and be killed.
Well, I I think that fish should just swim in the ocean and be free and happy. We shouldn't eat fish at all--they should just swim around in the water.
What about cows?
Some cows should walk around and eat grass free and wild. Other cows it's OK to kill because their body tastes so yummy in momos. (Tibetan dumplings)

Ruby has been spending four days a week with my parents, her absolutely beloved "mom" and "dad." (Shadrup and I are mama and daddy) Ruby and mom have a deeply emotional and unbreakable connection. They go museum hopping, to the botanical gardens and the zoo. They sit around for hours reading books at the library or playing play-doh or workbooks at home. Every child should have this kind of open, trustful, loving and fun relationship with their grandma. And every mother should have this kind of trustworthy, loving, quality...(free)...childcare!!! So I go to school and enjoy lectures and tackle challenges in this incredible MSW program, and return to a child who has been AS loved and nourished and nurtured as she would in my own care. It's awesome, wholesome and kind of perfect.

Thank you mom and dad!!